It’s also not chocolates, flowers, or
teddy bears. I know why these things start to look like a good idea: You’re at
checkout at CVS and you see a Valentine’s Day–related article, and boom! You
remember it’s February, which means that either you have just enough time to
pull something together to try and impress her, or you messed up really
bad. You forgot Valentine’s Day and she said nothing, which is worse than a
fight. Just so you know, it’s the 14th; It’s always on the 14th.
Sitting on
the couch talking, and your girlfriend said, clear as a bell: no gifts for
Valentine’s Day. But does she really mean no gifts? As in, no gifts no gifts? Was she even talking about
Valentine’s Day? It’s too hard to
remember, It was a really or just showing you a way out in case you forgot. But she has to want something. All girls do,
right? Or is it not right anymore to
assume that a woman would want a gift for Valentine’s Day? Then comes the
question, is she getting you something? Your stress is appropriate, Valentine’s Day
is a holiday designed to make men look inadequate. But there is a
cure-all—something that every woman wants.
There are very few things I’d recommend giving
to all women. Cash is a seriously controversial
gift, not to mention it is very cold. Here is some advice that works for every couple. In the
seminal film The Break-Up, there is
a scene where Jennifer Aniston, who is, bizarrely, dating Vince Vaughn, yells
at him, exasperated, “I don’t want you to do the dishes. I want you to want to do the dishes.” “Why would I want to do
dishes?” No one wants to do the dishes.
That means she doesn’t want to do the dishes either. She does, however, want
the dishes done. It’s of value to her to have the dishes done. He doesn’t
care that she values that. She’s upset that she’s with someone who
doesn’t want to do the work of being in a couple, and if she always has to ask
him to do something, it doesn’t “count.” She’s still in charge of making sure
the dishes get done, even though you volunteer to do them with being asked to. This doesn't have to apply to only dishes, but almost any chore that she does on a regular basis. If you do the laundry or grocery shopping without being asked it will be noticed and greatly appreciated.
This doesn’t seem like much, but it will get a very welcomed reaction
from your Valentine if you make the effort before being asked.
